Those whom we like

   

"Those whom we like, we never get courage and strength to write about them."

It is a line written somewhere in my draft posts. Which is, well, very true (atleast in my case). I never write about Those whom I like completely. Why? Firstly, I feel that their beauty will shimmer, if ever I tried to describe them through my writings. I don't possess writing skills which could portray the special people of my life. Also, If I write them out completely, then what would I think about in my gloomy days?

Some torments should be eternal I think, so does some memories.  There should be some space for thoughts. Some memories unwritten or some memories not shared with anyone, but just placed in a deep corner of heart, which some day strikes and we remember a past shared with a special person, a sweet bitter smile of unrequited love or may be a laughter shared with a close friend. Yes, life is always present in those memories. It never dies.

Life, always a one way road, we can’t go backward, sometimes close ones are left behind but we move forward (we have to) with more pace or they leave us in mid way but journey have to completed. With or without them. What kind of journey is it? What is the purpose of such journey when we don't have our true, desired or prayed companions beside us? Full of compromises life is! Wouldn't it be better if those people, for whom our heart has a special place, should always be present with us in our life long journey? But does it happen? NO! a big NO!

People come and go and nobody else can replace anybody else. Our heart is huge, very huge, it has a place for everyone, but always a special place for a special person, it never replace, it never vanishes, (if not you then your memory will reside there eternally).

Love is like a radioactive substance it can decay but never vanish completely. Just depends whether your love is uranium, which take thousands of year to decay or carbon isotopes which take few days to decay. But indeed “first love is like uranium.”

Writing after a long time, just second blog post in this whole year and perhaps last of the year.  Though, there were some reasons to write but I didn't. Had no courage, no strength to write. Hopelessness is bad, But thanks to people who like to read (me). Some promises, thus writing, some people, thus writing, some torments thus writing, some memories thus writing.

Adieus to 2013

                                 "जाते हुए लोगों को रोका नहीं करते, साल को भी नहीं"

Looking ahead! Adieus to 2013, its bitter memories and some sweet ones too... This year also shall pass, and especially this year “2013” should. I don't know why we think that if a year changes, our problems would also change or vanish? Does it happen really..?  Perhaps no. But I want to sound hopeful this time, so I am assuring myself falsely. I can remember vividly, for 2011-12, I wrote “Past year was Dickens-ian (the best of time and the worst of time)” but I cannot write this for this year. Not for 2013. There should be a year for making mistakes, loosing grip over life, defeat, survival and conflicts… And this year was indeed full of these.

Again… realizing how unpredictable life is, I hadn't anticipated a year that could be such a waste. As if I just woke up from a deep comatose and a year passed and I could do nothing.

"Idleness makes hours pass slowly and years swiftly

Activity makes the hour seem short and the years long…"

as said by Cesare Paverse in a poem. Well,  I shouldn't label this year as a complete waste, got much awaited degree this year, learned some lessons, although that would be consider learned only if I don't repeat the same “mistake” again.

This year, I met some new people, some close ones became acquaintances, lost some old ones, and yes, a conflict ended or can I say, I gathered enough courage to accept the end. An end, to years of waiting for the dreams to become real. An end is always painful but what else could I do?

“All that” was supposed to end someday and that someday was in this past year. For how long one can dwell in the past over the same thoughts? And after all, I believe things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end. And at times not in the way we expect. But they do come certainly. So I will wait.

Ups and downs are a part of life, I shouldn't disdain any single person or a thing, everybody have their own different role in this unscripted drama called life, where nobody is protagonist but all act in a chorus. Every person have some blank spaces to fill in. And, it is up to us what we fill; happiness or sorrow. But, the point is, we should keep moving, despite every obstacle. I tried but I failed.

Then I lost hope and I sat idle. And that is the reason I am cursing this year, I tried but was caged in my own thoughts, conflicts. They say taste of victory is sweeter when we’ve just tasted defeat. So I hope I’ll see good things may be this time.

       Introspective time is quite painful and embarrassing too! So I’ll stop it. And now I am feeling like this year wasn't not that bad or a waste (well, after writing all this). I can say finally;

“Enjoy yourself!

 These are the "good old" days.

You are going to miss in the year ahead

Amen!”