Adieus to 2013

                                 "जाते हुए लोगों को रोका नहीं करते, साल को भी नहीं"

Looking ahead! Adieus to 2013, its bitter memories and some sweet ones too... This year also shall pass, and especially this year “2013” should. I don't know why we think that if a year changes, our problems would also change or vanish? Does it happen really..?  Perhaps no. But I want to sound hopeful this time, so I am assuring myself falsely. I can remember vividly, for 2011-12, I wrote “Past year was Dickens-ian (the best of time and the worst of time)” but I cannot write this for this year. Not for 2013. There should be a year for making mistakes, loosing grip over life, defeat, survival and conflicts… And this year was indeed full of these.

Again… realizing how unpredictable life is, I hadn't anticipated a year that could be such a waste. As if I just woke up from a deep comatose and a year passed and I could do nothing.

"Idleness makes hours pass slowly and years swiftly

Activity makes the hour seem short and the years long…"

as said by Cesare Paverse in a poem. Well,  I shouldn't label this year as a complete waste, got much awaited degree this year, learned some lessons, although that would be consider learned only if I don't repeat the same “mistake” again.

This year, I met some new people, some close ones became acquaintances, lost some old ones, and yes, a conflict ended or can I say, I gathered enough courage to accept the end. An end, to years of waiting for the dreams to become real. An end is always painful but what else could I do?

“All that” was supposed to end someday and that someday was in this past year. For how long one can dwell in the past over the same thoughts? And after all, I believe things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end. And at times not in the way we expect. But they do come certainly. So I will wait.

Ups and downs are a part of life, I shouldn't disdain any single person or a thing, everybody have their own different role in this unscripted drama called life, where nobody is protagonist but all act in a chorus. Every person have some blank spaces to fill in. And, it is up to us what we fill; happiness or sorrow. But, the point is, we should keep moving, despite every obstacle. I tried but I failed.

Then I lost hope and I sat idle. And that is the reason I am cursing this year, I tried but was caged in my own thoughts, conflicts. They say taste of victory is sweeter when we’ve just tasted defeat. So I hope I’ll see good things may be this time.

       Introspective time is quite painful and embarrassing too! So I’ll stop it. And now I am feeling like this year wasn't not that bad or a waste (well, after writing all this). I can say finally;

“Enjoy yourself!

 These are the "good old" days.

You are going to miss in the year ahead

Amen!”