Falling temperature

             

                  Winter came creepily; initially they didn’t bother to notice it but then the mild change in weather came to an extent which was affecting their routine life potently .Temperature was falling, so does their relationship. They couldn’t sense the little numbness; the little cold in their relationship may lead to end of a beautiful story. Promises of spring froze in chill of winter. December doesn’t come abruptly, it came after passing through October-November, and they must have sensed the changing temperature, changing priorities.

            
                There may be many reason of monotonousness in a stable relation (stable perhaps exaggerate). Thing lost its value when gained, dream seems beautiful till when it’s not achieved,  once you catch it, it become reality and reality no matter how enchanting at distance is always different when close.
                    “Work is the death mask of its conception”
someone said, which is indeed very true.

             Year end is a time to introspect all the good-bad deed of whole year,  people regret of their harsh words  which could be certainly avoided by smile but the problem is now people are forgetting how to smile.
Perplexed, helpless both, introspecting where did they took wrong turn, but failed to identify their flaws because both were wearing eye-wear of Ego. Boy lost in his thoughts was thinking from his frame of reference , in quilt he was not feeling warmth but he knew that’s  not the reason of his uneasiness ,something else was bothering him. Year will in end in couple of minutes and he will have some regret of lifetime. Restless he opened his diary and tried to pen down his agony, in hope writing will help, it will make feel better but words deceived him, hands refused to write .he felt like something was slipping from his hands, with the freezing temperature something else also freezing .

                     Only three pegs of scotch were left and it was too late to go outside, and he was not even willing to go. One large peg “on the rocks”, couldn’t help him much but somehow increased intensity of thoughts. He checked phone, many messages but not from the one whom he desired for. He made another peg and gulp it slowly and lost in thoughts. Phone beeps; He checked no any message from her yet, lot of messages from others. People wishing happy New Year in advance but for him there was nothing like to celebrate. He remember Amir khusrow couplet and smiled fakely
                 “jis saawan me piya ghar  nahi aag lage aise saavan ko”
Then he typed a sorry message, or last message of year, but didn’t send not because of ego but because of guilt. Phone beeps; he ignored this time, without checking the sender and put phone on silent mode and made final peg gulped in a single sip. Lost in thoughts, blurred images,  smiling face, broken premises, good-bad all memories of year, with heavy head he fall asleep.

On the other hand girls was lying on her bed, outside people were busy in welcoming new year,  sleepless she was turning her side , frozen temperature, chocked voice , phone in hand. She checking messages, no one from him, she thought of typing but something inside resisting her back from texting .finally she put some courage and typed message, no any reply, she waited for some time. Glared at ceiling, watching the chandelier she felt it will come over  her, it made her little frightened.  One more message she typed, blurring hope, no reply from other side. Heart sinking,  she picked phone , fingers ran across dialing pad and called after sometime,  tear rolled down  her cheeks no any response yet, cinches fists , lump in throat ,  she tried to stop her sob but couldn’t stop for long.
She then cried, cried a lot and finally stopped when she felt it’s light from inside now. She took a deep breath and glared at chandelier this time it wasn’t freighting her. She turned off her phone. She dumped deep the guilt and make herself believe to be strong like a rock.

Next day newspaper was full of news how worldwide people welcomed New Year, with news that thirty first was the coldest night of the year past, temperature dipped to new low. Every news were there but not with the news that somewhere for two souls it was not time to thank past year but to curse , that temperature in relationship too  dipped to low.

Time pause

It took me a long time to pen down this new blog post.

Though, its rough draft was completed long ago, I could not find the energy and enthusiasm required.
Whether the world has really changed or it’s my hands who are not allowing me to write.

There are some things that go unnoticed. We are blind to it because they are so ordinary. And we miss the tremendous beauty they possess and the immense life they have.

This story is about an ordinary college going couple, perhaps I should say, a post-graduation college couple. This is the time when the maturity arises and the divinity of love struggles with the practicality of life and the other mean ideas.

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Her tastes changed in past few weeks. And so did her mood. Once, a cheerful soul now turned into a stoic behavioral sedate. Though this change was not in her nature, she thrust it upon herself. The artificialness, killing her. A Scotch lover, turned a teetotaler and hot coffee lover. Agatha reader into a Kafka admirer, a rap listener to a NFAK fan, listening qawwalis (if you know what I mean).

She shared her apartment with two other girls. They were nice to her. They all were psychology students. But, studies can’t teach everything! Somethings are to be learnt only from experience, betrayal or maybe both.

Hot coffee was prepared by one of her friend when she was detangling the cord of her earphones. As if, by doing this she would be able to 'detangle' her entangled relationship. Hope is fatal disease. And she was very much 'suffering' from it.

She was browsing the playlist anonymously. Suddenly, phone rang. Her eyes sparked as if she was waiting for this call only. Holding her breath, she picked up the call. Conversation started happily but soon moved to same prosaic topics. None of them was speaking what they really wanted to or what they should have, in order to save their drowning relationship. Rather, they were speculating how happily the other one is living.

No one was to blame. Blame should be on time only. Both wanted to say something but they were resisting themselves.

           

                     अना (ego) बा-जिद है के रूठने वाले को जाने दो

कोई अन्दर से कहता है के मना लेते तो अच्छा था

Both were expecting 'the three words' which would melt the coldness of their relationship. Sometimes, by speaking few words one can free himself from guilt. The burden of unspoken words cant be borne for long. Freedom is close to silence but it is not the silence itself.

Meanwhile, the coffee lying near her was getting cold. She continued to detangle the cord but now with some agony. There were days when she use to play with cord with her fingers smilingly, while talking on phone but this times she was neither playing nor smiling. Monotonous talks continued. Both were tired of bearing the burden of unspoken words, so they preferred to remain silent.

The last thing I remember was, one of them uttered the three magical words (which you should speculate by yourselves). And finally the “Ice melted”. There was silence again but this time, it was the silence of peace. Silence of completeness. Time stood still. The time period in which the coffee turned cold and a severely entangled chord detangled and the snow of relationship melted was all same.

They were breathing fast. Time stood still only for these two people in the entire universe. The world was same as before but the two souls were not the same.

The call was disconnected after sometime. A friend of her asked for earphones. She thought for some moment and reluctantly gave her earphones. When she came to her senses, she tried to figure out why she took time to give earphones. The time pause in which some memories awoke was the time she took in passing earphones.

A friend of her reminded her of coffee that got cold. She asked her if she should prepare a new cup for her. But she denied, saying “yes, the coffee is turning cold because the snow melted”. Giving her earphones she got up smilingly.

Other perhaps couldn’t understand what she said but we do perhaps.