It was not that this city was new for me. I use to come here since when i was in second or third standard, every vacation we cousins gather here and spent vacations. Past days those are . But coming here for job prospectus is quite different , first job matters a lot. There are very simple things but matters a lot for the person who have this, experiences first time , like first date, job, marriage , motherhood etc . Though daily happen with millions of people but still special for every individual , a life time treasure of memory for them sometime not.
Ordinary youth's story completing graduation, unemployed , tired of sitting jobless, then someday for a try going for any big city, little struggle of life but worth. And me, first interview that even on birthday (Giving first job interview on birthday that also a special experience) but rejected felt really bad but found an unknown person suggesting to try for a another company and giving there's address. Again interview selected this time , that word "Congrats, you have been selected" echoed for a long , my ears were not accustomed of listening good news. was on seventh heaven , still vividly remember that rain .But still i left that job for further preparation , a risk for which i am not working hard.
Then another dilemma came , to stay in this city or not.I couldn't fix to any decision , what come in morning changes by noon, then in evening and night too or changes with every opinion of friends. That fickleness of thoughts was itself kind of torment, sufficient to give excess stress. Taking any decision is better then to suffer in dilemma and even right decision after passing time, turn into wrong one. so taking decision matters, time itself would turn them wright or wrong .I afraid of my decisions, firstly i took too much of time to take any and worst is even after taking too much time they mostly turn wrong one.
As Shakespeare's "To be or not to be" sometimes seems that poets/ writers already felt everything which we facing now or could be. Is imagination have to do with experience or not how could 'Harivansh ' wrote 'Madhushala' when he never consume alcohol , don't know. some questions shouldn't be answered , and after all i should search for good questions , may be in quest of good questions i would found some good answers, which were veiled earlier
During those days of fickleness i have nothing to do but sitting whole day in a single room , whole day with only a cell phone and just an outing in evening . And on name of outing that was to observing people, breathing,thinking , viewing from a high altitude place nothing else. One evening i felt i shouldn't turn as a coward , as an escapist, afraid at least this time. Afraid of loneliness or dreams but as i rise my gaze i found whole sky is mine , i am not alone here, whole night is mine with random thoughts, with some novels, a companion, my diary with whom i can say everything. Choose any place in city where your can talk to yourself, shed tear or laugh , observe people or introspect oneself. I have a purpose in this city (though really need to realize this).
I know my decisions are weak but that can be make firm by working hard on that, have to overcome some fear, have to do some struggle for sake of survival , have to live here, conquering the fear & to win. Ohh too much to do, this city is with me till i have confidence to dance with it and to run together, with same swift, have to do, if i resist it would leave me. Have to love this city, before people i have to love this city , explore this.
Ordinary youth's story completing graduation, unemployed , tired of sitting jobless, then someday for a try going for any big city, little struggle of life but worth. And me, first interview that even on birthday (Giving first job interview on birthday that also a special experience) but rejected felt really bad but found an unknown person suggesting to try for a another company and giving there's address. Again interview selected this time , that word "Congrats, you have been selected" echoed for a long , my ears were not accustomed of listening good news. was on seventh heaven , still vividly remember that rain .But still i left that job for further preparation , a risk for which i am not working hard.
Then another dilemma came , to stay in this city or not.I couldn't fix to any decision , what come in morning changes by noon, then in evening and night too or changes with every opinion of friends. That fickleness of thoughts was itself kind of torment, sufficient to give excess stress. Taking any decision is better then to suffer in dilemma and even right decision after passing time, turn into wrong one. so taking decision matters, time itself would turn them wright or wrong .I afraid of my decisions, firstly i took too much of time to take any and worst is even after taking too much time they mostly turn wrong one.
As Shakespeare's "To be or not to be" sometimes seems that poets/ writers already felt everything which we facing now or could be. Is imagination have to do with experience or not how could 'Harivansh ' wrote 'Madhushala' when he never consume alcohol , don't know. some questions shouldn't be answered , and after all i should search for good questions , may be in quest of good questions i would found some good answers, which were veiled earlier
During those days of fickleness i have nothing to do but sitting whole day in a single room , whole day with only a cell phone and just an outing in evening . And on name of outing that was to observing people, breathing,thinking , viewing from a high altitude place nothing else. One evening i felt i shouldn't turn as a coward , as an escapist, afraid at least this time. Afraid of loneliness or dreams but as i rise my gaze i found whole sky is mine , i am not alone here, whole night is mine with random thoughts, with some novels, a companion, my diary with whom i can say everything. Choose any place in city where your can talk to yourself, shed tear or laugh , observe people or introspect oneself. I have a purpose in this city (though really need to realize this).
I know my decisions are weak but that can be make firm by working hard on that, have to overcome some fear, have to do some struggle for sake of survival , have to live here, conquering the fear & to win. Ohh too much to do, this city is with me till i have confidence to dance with it and to run together, with same swift, have to do, if i resist it would leave me. Have to love this city, before people i have to love this city , explore this.
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